Moment of Our Choosing

Last night, I watched Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. I'm a huge Transformers fan, but I have been fairly disappointed by both movies, especially this second one. My godson's family that lives in town was out seeing the movie too. Unfortunately, my godson, E, who is two years old was brought to the movie by his mother. I guess it was a good thing that he fell asleep fairly quickly, but my back was sore from holding a sleeping baby for about two hours in that chair.

During the movie, Optimus Prime says the line from the trailer, "Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing." And although it is so true and stuck out to me in the trailer, it really hit me while I was sitting there holding E in my arms.

You see, if I do discern that my vocation is to become a priest, there are many sacrifices that go along with that. The hardest ones aren't the ones I used to think were the hardest.

E's mother is a single mom of three kids, E being the youngest. The older two have a fairly responsible father, but not E. His mother asked me to be his godfather simply from the fact that she knew I was a good Catholic that helped out with the youth group. She barely knew me through her younger sisters who were in the youth group. I said yes, and when she put him in my arms for the first time and looked at him, I literally felt my heart melt and for the first time I understood unconditional love. Since that day, I've loved him like he was my own son and providing for him in anyway I need to. Since I've seriously considered this journey, having to leave E, if this is my calling is the biggest sacrifice I would have to make. Every time I think about it, I cry. Not just getting all teary eyed, but actually cry because it breaks my heart to think about not seeing him grow up, not being there for him, him growing apart from me, him not having a good male role model,.... It's just too hard. But, like Optimus said fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing. But, then I begin to think that although it would be better for him to be older before leaving him (but I suppose I would always wish that), it would also be worse if I embarked on this journey earlier in life and never known the absolutely awesome joy of being with E.

Dominus Vobiscum