Further Into Discernment

Well, I went through the little booklet mentioned in the last post. I went through one spiritual lesson a day but repeated some of the spiritual lessons either the very next day or after going through them all. That is a wonderful and great resource for anyone who is prayerfully considering discerning a vocation to the priesthood.

I sent an email to Fr. JS about having gone through the resources he sent, some of my thoughts, and my willingness to meet. I didn't hear from him in over a week, but I didn't fret and I know he is a busy man. I took off all of Labor Day week to be with friends and family and get away from the stressful work environment. During the first weekend up there, I went to see JS, DS, and their new baby, and my future goddaughter ES! On my way out, I called and left a message with both Fr. JS and Fr. JN. Fr. JS called me right back and said that he was just getting ready to start his retreat in Colorado and had been on vacation the previous week. But, he did want to meet the following Sat.

We met up at a Bob Evans to talk over coffee and biscuits and gravy, yum. He explained some of the process and that I'd already been through a sort of filter before getting to the face-to-face meeting part even if the hoops didn't seem very high to jump through. But, he gave me some examples of extreme conditions in the past where any sane person would realize there would be some issues.

Again he reiterated that the process is not only my discernment of being called to be a priest, but the Church also discerning whether I should be a priest. He said that there are different answers from the Church that could crop up in discernment.

The first is no. If the Church, at any time, determines that the answer is going to be no, then they will go ahead and say that and not string anyone along. He said that it is possible to get closer to the end of this part of the discernment stage and the answer still be no, but it usually comes much earlier than that.

Another answer is yes, but there are issues that should be dealt with immediately. He didn't go into what issues they maybe, but he did say that if they aren't dealt with in a timely fashion that the process would be terminated.

Another answer is yes, we think you might be called to the priesthood and have you enter seminary.

And the last one was yes, we think the seminary might be beneficial to your formation, but you probably aren't called to be a priest.

He said that some people are permitted to go to the seminary after a period of discernment not with the intention of them becoming a priest, but they see a benefit in the discerner spending a few years in the seminary for formation for a different capacity and they still look at these discerners as successes.

He explained that there are different levels of discernment, that the first phase is considered a contact where you are in the initial stages of contact with the diocese. Basically, it is up to the person to keep in contact with the diocese about discernment. Next is being a discerner, where it is a little more official, there are more face-to-face meetings, and the answers above usually come up. If the diocese doesn't hear from the discerner for a period of time, they will make contact to see if the discerner has made their own decision to stop or need more resources. There are also retreats, support groups of other discerners in the diocese, psychological and medical evaluations that would be conducted during this period. This phase usually takes 3-6 months with 3 months being a rushed case and not normal, but some men have taken 3 years to discern during this stage. The next step would be application to the seminary. Applications for seminary usually go out in December to enter seminary for the following fall semester. After that would you would become a seminarian where, of course, the process takes a more serious turn and not just with the studies. The seminary takes about 6 years for someone with a college degree, but without a theological degree such as myself, but there are times when there may need to be a year off or extra pastoral service in between some years of seminary. After the 3rd year of theology studies you are ordained a deacon and receive the sacraments of Holy Orders, he said that all questions should be answered by that time since it is an actual ordination and the following year be ordained a priest.

He did ask me about what got me to this point and let me talk for quite a bit about that. He asked me about having to move away from family and how that was for me, since I've already done that, and how I was able to meet people and what my life and activities were like after moving away. He asked if I've ever attempted marriage before a minister or judge. He asked about my involvement at my parish. He also asked if I owned a house. I offered up the information that I was living debt-free which he said that I was more ahead of the game then most people at this point.

I asked the question about a spiritual director since I've never gone that route before. He said that spiritual directors are helpful, but essentially difficult to find. Even lay spiritual directors. He said they have a list of trained spiritual directors in the diocese office, but more than likely when you call most of them they will say that they are too busy. He also said, that it takes a few months to get into a trusting relationship with a spiritual director and if you end up going to the seminary within a year or so, then you really only have a spiritual director for a few months. His opinion is that they are useful if you think you will be discerning for a while or have some serious struggles you know that are keeping you really torn between different vocations and that you can spend a decent amount of time with a spiritual director. But, with someone like me who might be able to go to the seminary sooner rather than later, it is probably better to wait for the seminary where there are dedicated and mandatory spiritual directors. But, we did decide that it is probably a good idea to go ahead and talk to my pastor about my discernment and maybe check in with him on a monthly basis for a quick few moments.

In all he said that he determined I wasn't a psycho, schismatic, or anything else that would preclude me from moving on in my discernment and handed me a form to fill out with my contact information to officially become a discerner in the diocese. So, as of a little after Noon on Sept. 12, 2009 I'm officially a discerner in the diocese.

Of course, he had another appointment to rush off to, but he said that we would be in touch. I've been pretty content that I've moved on so far and that is currently where I stand.

Dominus Vobiscum